i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
