this beer tastes like vomit already
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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