so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
