Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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