So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
