forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Randomize
