He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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