i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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