the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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