I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
