Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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