Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
