____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
