Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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