Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
