yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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