Can Purell be used as lube?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
