So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
