Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
