Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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