He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
