I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize