if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
