i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
