She announced her abortion via fbk
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
