well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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