direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
