I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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