Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize