Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
