I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
