Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
