'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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