I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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