Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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