Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
