sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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