so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
