I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize