Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
