My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
