She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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