Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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