Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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