it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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