That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
