Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
