he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
