whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
