He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize