...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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