I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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