And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
