John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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