Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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