am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
