I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
love makes seman taste better
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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