He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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